Chapter 1: Exploring feelings while living with a serious diagnosis
Guilt
I hope I can do better at staying in the present. This is not going to come around again.
Knowing that time is limited tends to make people reflect on the past. Sometimes this brings up regrets for past actions or things not done or said.
Sorting out what to express and what to let go is emotional work. Sometimes this means exploring thoughts and feelings in a deeper way. Below are three common examples of different ways the person who received the diagnosis or family members may feel guilty. Click on each one to read more.
Feelings of guilt can stem from conflicted relationships or relationships where there are mixed feelings. Uncertainty in the relationship or intensity of feeling can lead you to feel regret or second-guess past choices.
A sense of "wishing it were all over" is not uncommon and does not reflect a lack of caring or love. Instead, wishing for the end likely comes from a feeling of being overwhelmed. These thoughts are completely understandable.
Expressing these feelings to someone who can listen in a non-judgmental way can help you to feel supported.
For family members, guilt can be related to feeling somehow responsible for the situation. Guilt might be expressed this way: “I should have taken him to the doctor sooner,” or “I feel like I’ve made her life more stressful.” Although these thoughts are very real to the person expressing them, they are not factors causing illness.
