Chapter 2: What may be different about your grief

Introduction

I've been there
Bonnie talks about being at the epicentre of the earthquake after the death of her husband.(3:22)Video transcript

I have grieved other deaths – my parents, a sister, two friends; but this is different. This has cut deeper.

I feel like I’m missing part of myself. She was my other half and my better half – in so many ways.

The death of a spouse is usually a time of significant change, disruption, and disorientation. Your grief is not related to how much you loved or cared for your partner, or how well (or not) you “got along.” For most people, the death of a spouse or partner is unlike any other loss.

Spousal relationships are intimate and complex. No two are alike. Most relationships have aspects that are appreciated and valued more than others. Your partner may have been the person you relied on in times of sadness, distress, loss, and heartache. At what may feel like the most difficult time of your life, the one person you feel could comfort you is no longer there.

It’s also possible that your relationship with your partner was more troubled or difficult. Your grief will likely reflect whatever complications there were when you were together.