Chapter 2: Stuck in grief


Thoughts that keep you stuck

The grief expert says
Fred Nelson, social worker, discusses signs that help is needed. (3:22)Video transcript
Dr. Chris MacKinnon, psychologist, shares examples of being stuck and how to get unstuck.(3:22)Video transcript

Some people feel stuck because of things they tell themselves after the death. You can move beyond this by thinking about your own conflicting thoughts and feelings. Once you recognize problematic messages, you can try to take back control by replacing them with thoughts that are more helpful as you move through grief.

Thoughts that keep you stuck Thoughts that move you forward
I'm scared to feel better again.
 I am tired of being scared all the time, and I want to change that.
I can't believe he left me. Without him I am nothing, and no one needs me.
 While I have never been so angry, I realize now that only I can let go of the stranglehold this has on my happiness.
If I marry again, it will feel like I am betraying him. I know he would want me to be with someone eventually, and that being with another in no way diminishes our love.